It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
