I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
