guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
