she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
MIDGETS
????
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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