my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
