It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
