At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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