porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
