I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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