Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
