I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
