Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
