Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
