he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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