Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
