So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
