I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I love you. Go after that dick
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