I'm really into asian looking animals
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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