I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
