Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
