did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
