i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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