buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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