The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
