somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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