we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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