talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
