Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
