Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
