I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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