i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
