you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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