Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
