First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
