i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
