If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
