he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
