bring money and cleavage
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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