we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
