I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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