have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
MIDGETS
????
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
