hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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