a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
