The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
