oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
