so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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