I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
