The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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