is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
