ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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