Buhtt sex?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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