I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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