So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
