Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
