A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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