It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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